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Title: Clouded Pathways (In which the Tale Begins Anew)
'verse: Enemy Mine, past fic
Character(s): The Shadow King, unnamed female
Rating: PG (for allusions to dark and dastardly things)
Word count: 160

A/N: I've posted this as something of a teaser for both Enemy Mine and the related 'verse mythology/lore series that I'm also currently busy on. This was sort of an experiment, an attempt to parody the traditional structure of classic oral/fairytale narrative. 

Oh,and a special thanks to everyone whose been such a great support. I really do appreciate all your encouragement!

Once upon a time...

A long, long time ago...

In a faraway land...

There was a castle (or a fortress) -- all high, reaching towers and smooth, sheer walls. And inside each tower were windows, and in one of these windows was a man. A Prince. No.... a King, spun from the forbidden desires and broken dreams  of a long dead people.

On one side of the place-that-was-a-castle (or fortess) is a merciless wasteland, a sea of pitch-colored sand that stretches as far as the eye can see, and on the other is something infinitely more terrible -- the Void, a carnivorous Nothingness. 

Once upon a time the man-that-was-a-King made a bargain. No... a wager -- a dark game, a cruel entertainment that was also a revenge of sorts. He wove a net of lies and deception, hoping to ensnare his enemy. All that was needed was for her to take the bait.

And, after years of waiting, she did... 


Feb. 7th, 2007 01:14 am (UTC)
Wanted to respond to this earlier, but I was so dead-dog tired I knew it wouldn't be worth anything until I took a nap. So, one zombie-like trance later, and I'm commenting. Woot!

I enjoy the style in this piece. The oral elements come through strong, and it's easy to imagine someone telling this story to a bunch of traveler's, or something of the sort. Very appropriate for the sort of myth that this is.

I also like that, in-general, you stick with the same sort of sensory words-- things that have to do with weaving/needle-craft. They paint an interesting picture of this person, a startling contrast of his power and grace hidden behind his anger.

The castle sounds like a beautifully haunting place that I would love to visit-- I could imagine peering out onto the sands, walking upon them, only to be snatched up by any variety of mythical creatures crawling through the lands. And then there's the great nothingness on the other side, waiting to swallow me with a reflexive flick of it's jaws. A powerful contrast.

Great cliffhanger, and I can't wait for some more (especially some imagery of the prince/king himself-- I have a view in my mind's eye, but I'm not sure that it's correct or not. I understand that descriptive things of that nature might be harder to fit into this sort of story-telling, but I'm still looking foward to it in later pieces). ^^
Feb. 7th, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC)
^^ I'm currently stifling the urge to squee --can you tell? Sorry, its just... It was quite a challenge, I can tell you. I now have a completely new (and greater) respect for folklorists and traditional storytellers. ^^

I wanted to keep it fairly general --not only because that seems to be in keeping with the style of this kind of narrative, but it leaves me some wiggle room for if something like character description changes. Keep in mind, though, that when dealing with Gods/Faerys/Sorcerous Creatures they are almost never what you'll expect; he'll probably turn into a shape-shifter, just to annoy me.

I have one to write for his ...adversary, which should be interesting. The Lost Child is something of an atypical entity --not quite...normal, if you catch my drift.

Thanks very much for your kind review and your encouragement over the last few months.

Toodles ;)


shards of broken dreams...

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